My life

10.10.09

“Please think about it Prabhat!!!!”, Reshmi said with tears in her eyes. “I wont be able to stand the horror of aunty passing away right in front of my eyes day by day. We can arrange the best facility for her from Australia.”

Observing Prabhat’s silence she added, “Dad only wants the very best for us. Don’t misunderstand him.”

Prabhat walked away without looking back.

Prabhat lost his father at a very young age, he was hardly a baby when his father passed away in a horrible accident. His mother brought him and his sister up single handedly. Neither his father’s family, nor his mother’s family supported her in her fight. They both washed off their hands when they knew that his father has passed away without leaving a penny for them.

Namrata brought them up working day and night, but as if fate had more pain in store for them, she was diagnosed with cancer when Prabhat was studying in the final year of Engineering. Prabhat was shattered, he blindly clinged to his lover Reshmi.

Prabhat was sitting on the lawn, other students were chatting away merrily but he has somewhat lost his connection with the outer world. He was waiting for Reshmi, she has asked him to wait. She has become very busy with her life these days, sometimes he had a feeling that she was avoiding him but he needed her so desperately that he tried his best to not believe that.

Then he saw her walking across the lawn toward him, she was a gorgeous creature. Beautiful, slim, sophisticated. They made a gorgeous pair. Every one said that.

She sat down facing him, “Dad wants to meet you, can you come down to my home for tea today evening?”, she asked.

“Any thing special?”, he asked hiding his happiness.

“Nothing that I know of. He just asked me to invite you.”, she answered casually.

Prabhat dressed up soberly and reached her home. It was a beautiful single storeyed home situated quite far away from his home. Reshmi was waiting for him in the garden, she took him straight inside where her father and rest of the family was waiting.

Her father was a rich businessman, a guy who has made quite an hefty amount of money from selling timbers. Reshmi was his only child. This was the first time Prabhat was seeing her family. He could see Reshmi had all her looks and nature from her mother. He bowed his head to both of them and sat down shyly.

“You both will get your degrees next month. I want you both to get married and settle in Australia or USA. I will help you in the initial stage.”, her father said directly.

Prabhat looked up at him with a stunned expression.

“I know about your mother, you can arrange for her best treatment from there. I don’t see any reason that you and Reshmi will ruin your lives and career.”, he said before Prabhat could say any thing.

“I have a few very good matrimonial offers for Reshmi, she is my only child, I cant play gamble with her life and happiness.” He added.

Prabhat looked at Reshmi but her eyes were firmly fixed on ground. He gulped down the rest of the tea and asked for their permission to leave.

He has hardly reached the gate when he saw Reshmi waiting for him there. A flicker of hope illuminated her heart to be wiped out soon by the words spoken by her.

He walked away from her without even telling her goodbye.

Two months later he came to know that she has got married and will shift to Australia within a few months.

13.10.2009

He doesnot recollects now who showed him the alley.. but soon he became a drunkard. Reshmi was the only light in his life.. he has built his world around her. A world of hope and love.

He never even thought that she will change, she was the one who came into his life.. she was the one who proposed and won his shy heart after trying for months… then every thing just changed.

He used to stay away from home pretending to be studying in library. Used to return at home at an hour when both her sister and mother were sleeping. He used to silently enter his bedroom and sleep.

He was taking slow and steady steps toward self destruction… his mother was too sick to notice and his sister was too young to realize that her brother was drowning in sorrow.

It was dark and raining that night, when he came out of the bar it was pouring. He started his bike, trying hard to peer through the pouring rain. Suddenly the bike skidded and he flew across a few metres, fell down, felt a horrible pain and blacked out.

He had to open his eyes after a great struggle. He could smell the medicine and disinfectants before opening his eyes. The memories of last night were already back in his mind so he could guess that someone has brought him to hospital or nursing home.

His eyes were hurting, it took quite a little while to open them fully. He was right. He was lying in a bed in some hospital or Nursing Home.

“You tried your level best to get yourself killed.”, a soft musical voice told him. It was the nurse who has reached his bedside after noting his movements.

Prabhat looked up at a very kind and gentle face. His mind was numb with pain and medicines so he could not say any thing in reply to her.


She sat down beside her, checked his vital signs. She softly admonished him, “Did you thought once about your sick mother and sister when you were drinking? Those two women are still sitting outside, crying.“, she softly placed her hand on his hand.

Maya was right, he has tried earnestly to get himself killed. It was a miracle and the humanitarian nature of a trucker that has saved him. The guy who was driving by and picked him up risking the harassment by police.

Maya formed a deep affection for him because she has lost her lover in a bike accident. His condition brought out her deepest protective instincts.

“You have been senseless for three days..” she told him after a few days. “Your sister spent those days crying inconsolably, she tried to hide it from your mother but she guessed it and took a taxi to here.”

“You are a young man, life doesnot ends because someone has rejected you. Complete your study and take care of those who care for you. Don’t waste your life after a person who doesnot cares about you.”

He was listening to her silently, because his weak heart has already started to depend on her.

She was every thing he wanted at that time, full of affection, understanding, maturity and wisdom.

15.10.2009

The next one month that he spent in the hospital Maya made it a point to visit him whenever she could, slowly she taught him how to look at the positive side of life, even after being heart broken, how to let the love which is lost forever drift away and cherish those which he still possesses.

She gently brought his attention to his mother and sister, who doted after him, and were shattered by his accident.

He hated himself for causing them so much pain and promised to himself that he will never do any thing which will cause them pain.

His discharge date was fixed. Maya entered his room as usual in the morning with a beautiful smile. “So you are going back home tomorrow. I want to know your result in the recruitment exams you are giving.”

“Actually I will prefer if you come back soon with an appointment letter.” She smiled softly.

“Maya, I want to ask you some thing… You live in a rented house with aunty, our ground floor is vacant. Can you shift there? You wont have to pay any rent, but you will have to look after mom. I can leave her in your hands with my eyes closed.” He looked at her with eyes full of earnest pleading.

“I will be able to work in peace if you are in home with mom and Prabha.” He added.

“Let me discuss it with mom, I will tell you the answer before next month. I will have to give notice to my landlord in case I shift accomodations.” Maya answered after thinking for a brief time.

Two months later a taxi stopped in front of Prabhat’s home, followed by a small truck. A sweet looking, plump lady came out of the taxi with Maya.

Prabhat and Prabha were waiting outside for them. Maya’s mother Rohini gently hugged both as they bowed down to touch their feet. Maya tightly hugged Prabha, preventing her from touching her feet.

They then went upstairs to meet Namrata with Prabha, while Prabhat supervised the unloading of their goods.

He observed they were very poor. Their furnitutes and other things clearly portrayed their poor background.

Within fifteen days they were living like a family. Prabhat was able to relax and live like a human being after years. His heart filled up with deepest gratitude when he saw the way Maya and Rohini has taken them under their wings perfectly.

Prabha became a shadow of Maya basking in the deep affection of two ladies, a thing which sickly Namrata could not offer her much and Prabhat was too busy with his own life. He could not resist his joy whenever he looked at her. She was blooming like a glorious flower.

16.10.2009

Maya became Prabhat’s rock in the stormy weather. He kept on trying for jobs and soon landed in one. Fortunately it was local too. The salary was not high, but the duty hours were irregular.. in shifts.

He came back with a huge box of sweets and went to Rohini and Maya to share the great news.

When he entered the room Prabha was sitting on a chair, Rohini was brushing her hair. She jumped up when she saw Prabhat, “Dada, do you know maya didi is ten years older than you?” she giggled, “You will have to touch her feet.”

A deep disappointment hit Prabhat, Maya hardly looked twenty five or so.. he used to think she was of his age or a few years junior. His feelings have sunk deeper than friendship in these few months.

“It’s a surprise, is not it?” Rohini smiled innocently, “People often confirm from me after hearing her age from her. They don’t believe her.”

“She has crossed her fortieth birthday in January.” She added.

“Who are you talking about? Are you gossiping about me behind my back?” Maya teased them. She was just returning from hospital. She smiled at them and went to the toilet to have her bath.
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17.10.2009

A few of his college mates have joined the same organisation. A few weeks later Prabhat was discussing his heart with one of them, Vishal.

“Do you think its odd to marry someone who is ten years older than you?” he asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Well, whats there in that, girls marry men twice their age.. “, Vishal replied.

“I was not talking about girls, I was talking about men. Is it ok if a man marries a woman who is ten years older than him?” he clarified.

“Only if she is Elizabeth Taylor.” Vishal smirked.

“What if she is the girl next door?” Prabhat asked.

“Don’t say girl.. say aunty next door..” Vishal bellowed out a loud laughter.

“I am not sharing jokes with you Vish, I am serious.” Prabhat said. “I am in love with someone who is ten years older than me and I want to marry her.”

“You are insane. No wonder Reshmi ran away from you after loving you for so long..” Vishal blurted out. “Sorry yaar!!! I was joking. Sorry!!” he quickly added after seeing the shock on Prabhat’s face.

Prabhat could clearly see that he blurted out his opinion. A lot of people were jealous when Reshmi selected him amongst her huge group of admirers and Vishal was one of them who tried even after Reshmi clearly finalized her selection.

He regretted sharing his heart with him. After all, we think people change with time. Don’t we? Some people don’t. They never accept defeat gracefully.

He muttered an excuse and walked away. But that was not the end, Vishal shared his little secret with every one who allowed him to share.

19.10.2009

As a result he started to hear smirks and sniggers even when people were silent. Some of it was real and some imagination. His sensitive nature made things worse.

One slip of tongue showed him what will be his social position if he marries Maya. Having her without marriage was something out of his imagination, he was not of that mindset.

He was in the site, working when his cell beeped. He saw a message from Prabha : come back asap, aunty has passed away in her sleep.
He rushed back home after his duty was over. A deathly silence greeted him. He almost ran to Maya’s room, she was sitting there, like a statue of stone. Only sign of her being alive was the drops of tears rolling down her cheek.

He sat down beside her, took her hands in his hands, “We are with you.”

Prabha entered the room with a warm glass of milk and handed it over to him. She firmly refused it and very softly said to Prabha, “I will ask you when I want some thing dearest.”

Prabha stayed with her while Prabhat made the arrangements of cremation. He came to know from Maya weeks later that Rohini had a very weak heart. Maya knew she may sleep any night to never wake up again. But that doesnot takes away or lessens the pain. Does it?

Both Prabha and Prabhat started to deeply respect her because of the immense mental strength she displayed. She went to the crematorium with Prabhat and firmly performed the last rituals.

Her deep shock was exposed when she fell sick after coming back. She had a very high fever and recovered after a few weeks. But she absorbed it all calmly. Prabha did not left her alone for a second.

Prabhat shifted her bedroom permanently to upstairs and took possession of her bedroom.

20.10.2009

“May I come in?” a teasing voice asked him from the door of his cabin. He looked up and saw his college mate Shireesh.

“So, how is life going on in the big bad world?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes. He was still studying. Planning to go for research after post graduation.

Prabhat was ecstatic, Shireesh was his closest friend since school days. He changed to a better college after studying engineering with him for two years.

“Lets go out and have party!!!!” he laughed, “you cheated me!”

“We had a pact that whoever joins a job first will give the other one a huge treat.”

“Okay!! You win!!!” Prabhat laughed. “It was a great relief to meet someone innocent in office.

They were sitting face to face in the restaurant. Shireesh has already prodded out every thing that has happened in his life since they separated.

“Well buddy, I never liked Reshmi. I want to see Maya. If I pass her you can go for her. She seems a woman of material. Don’t give a damn to people who don’t care about you. Where were these smirkers when you were drowning in the bottle? When Reshmi ditched you?” Shireesh asked seriously.

“If you are apprehensive of opinion of others, you can change your job. Try for some thing overseas, they will not even look at you, forget about asking you the age of your wife.” He added.

Prabhat could understand his logic and consented. Shireesh left the town after spending a few days with them, and of course after meeting Maya and giving her two hundred marks out of hundred.

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Prabhat started to work hard toward his goal, the things which Shireesh said. He soon became an expert in his field. His seniors used to call him to take his opinions often.

When the company was about to start a new project in UK he volunteered his name with a request that if his mother needs he can come back any day, and/or if possible make arrangement of shifting his family with him. His application was accepted

He went home with a big bouquet of flowers and gifts for Namrata, Prabha and Maya.

“You will go away from us?” Prabha asked with moist eyes.

“No my sweet child, I will take you all there if I see that the place is suitable.” He pulled her close and embraced her. “It will be a matter of six months to one year.” He added.

“Wont you be able to manage with Maya?” he asked. “It will mean a huge increase in salary and better facilities for mom.”

“I wont go if it scares you.” He said softly, “Nothing matters more to me than you and mom. You know that.”

“Sorry dada!!!” she hugged him tightly, “Will mayadidi stay with us when you are gone?”

“I will ask her, if she doesnot stays I will not go.. that’s confirmed.” He answered seriously.

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“Maya, I want to talk with you if you have some time in your hand.” Maya was surprised to see Prabhat waiting for her outside the hospital.

“Is every thing alright?” she asked.

He just nodded in reply. “Come lets sit down somewhere and talk.”

They took a taxi to the beach and sat down side by side. The deep blue ocean was rolling in front of them. the waves were coming and going from the beach leaving behind white foams and shells.

Small children were running around, busy picking the shells, keeping the attractive ones throwing away the others. Startling the sea birds which were doing almost the same thing, checking for the insects left on the beach by the waves.

The soothing wind was blowing toward them, brushing their faces, wiping away the tiredness.

Prabhat called a pop corn vendor and bought two packets of pop corn from him. He knew Maya loved pop corns.

“So, what were you saying?” Maya asked a little amused because almost half an hour has passed since they have reached and settled down on the beach.

Prabhat was playing with sand, building small structures. He looked up at her. There was something in his eyes which made her uneasy.

She has seen that look in his eyes too many time. But have pretended to ignore. Though it penetrated deep inside her heart. Every human being can feel a look full of deepest love.

As if on impulse he turned toward her and held one of her hands in both of his hands. “I want to marry you.” He blushed.

22.10.2009

She was really surprised, she looked at him and his eyes said it all. She did not pulled her hands away from him, “Think about it seriously Prabhat.”

“I know you are very sensitive and affectionate, but I am ten years older than you. You are in prime of your youth and a few of my hairs have started to become silver.” She softly placed her second hand on his palm.

“Think about it for a little while. Then if you don’t change your mind we will talk about it again.” She smiled with affection.

“When are you leaving for UK?” she asked.

“Next month.” He knew she was right. But she did not knew that this is all what he has been thinking about lately.

“Maya, I have my mind made, if you can accept me, I will be blessed to have you in my life. I wont have any thing else to think about it. When I am in UK you can think about it. I will take you there with mom and Prabha as soon as I can.” He firmly said after brushing away his initial shyness.

He softly slipped a ring in her finger, “If you cant accept me as your love, keep it as the memory of my love for you, which will never die.” He did not let her resist. He softly lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

The moon was gently shining on the ocean. The blue ocean has turned to slate. It was looking as beautiful as a dream. They both sat looking at it for a while. Their hands in each others hands.

“Lets go home now Prabhat. Prabha will be worried.” Maya said after a little while. They bought some thing for her on their way back home.

23.10.2009

It was early January when Prabhat left for UK. The evening before his leaving they were sitting in the beach side by side. “I know I don’t have to say, but whatever I am doing is only because of you.” He softly said. One of his hands firmly holding her hand.

“I never thought I will be able to stand up and walk again, forget about flying and kissing the sky.” He continued.

“I will be back in July if every thing goes well. We will get married then if you have made up your mind by then.” He said.

She did not answered him nor did she pulled away her hand. To hide her feelings she kept staring at the clouds softly sailing above the ocean. White, dazzling clouds in blue sky.

The ocean was rolling, singing his own soothing songs. Waves were coming to the shore one by one, kissing it then rolling back to ocean. Small birds were flying, walking on the beach in search of food. Their cry sounded a little melancholy.

“I will miss you all very much.” Prabhat clasped her hands more tightly. “Hope this is our first and last separation.”

Prabha clutched Maya’s hands and she gently embraced her when Prabhat waved his goodbye before heading for the check in department.

“Its alright, dada will take you two there soon.” She gently tightened her embrace to comfort the frightened girl. “Don’t you have faith on me? I am here for you, and always will be.”

“I know bhabhi.” She clutched her. “Dada asked ma and me before leaving. Ma was happy beyond words.”

“You will not say no to dada, will you?” she asked pleadingly. “We cant live without you any more.”

“Ma was so happy when dada said that he will love to marry you if he gets her blessings.” She added.

“My darling child, only fate can decide marriage, birth and death.” Maya avoided her imploring eyes.

They both returned home after Prabhat’s plane started its journey toward new skies.

25.10.2009

The next six months were the longest six months for Maya and Prabhat. He called them up every night.

Maya spent that time in deep introspection and realized the golden truth. Love is God’s greatest gift, when it comes knocking your door and your heart says yes to it, open the door and let love in. Let love decide whether it will stay or not.

The whole family shifted to UK after an year.

sweet ending :) .....